Jesse's Perpetual Conniption Fit
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Kyle, Kyle, Kyle how can I prepare anyone for what they are about to see? Allow me to provide this disclaimer:

If you are pregnant, have a heart condition or a shred of human dignity, come no further. For the rest of us remorseless Godless pre-corpses, feast your eyes!

Chris has a small penis.

On the subject of Jesses roommate, Chris, he is a bitch. Well thats not exactly fair because when I say Chris is a bitch I am not respecting his individuality. He is my bitch. I am sure he has many other pimps, but I truly can call him my bitch. Hes thinks he is tuff for being in the army, I think hes a pussy. When he steps out of line I pimp slap him. Like its said in speed, he better not attempt to grow a brain. I keep him as the stupid pile of dog shit that he is by using Jesses microwave when Chris is asleep. His brain, which is apparent by his behavior, is erratic and retard like. Chris is my bitch and I shit on his face for it.

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Dave the Butt Raping Bandit

Millions of people on earth ask why god why? Most of them are seeking knowledge. Since I am god and I have heard your cry I can answer you. Now I know some of you are asking me why you have such short cocksa.k.a. Tim, or why you are a slutwe all know someone who fills this blank, but the most disturbing cry I have ever heard was from Dave. He cried out to me; why god did you make me gay? Dave is ultimately gay. He defiantly has a sexual preference for the male and he like it in the buttocks. Daves troubles started when he willingly attended an all boys high school. He says he enjoyed it and Im sure he meant that in more then one way. Dave frequently come on to me and its really quite annoying. Dave, like most women has a cyclea menstrual cycle. He often walks the hall with his PMS attitude and acts like he needs Mydol. According to another flannel pants wearing homosexual Dave is very insecure about his penis size. He should be our gay informant says it is very small, wrinkled, and resembles George Burns cock. Dave also, is afraid to get wet in the shower. I dont know what thats all about but he was taking a showerenough said. Dave is gay and that is final.

P.S. Tim fucked your mom last night

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Fecal Feeders

Now you have to ask yourself, is eating shit really so bad? How many of you have actually tried to eat your own feces? Now Im not encouraging all of you dumb mother fucks out there to go shit in a bowl and stuff your faces. Think about it, your body defecates out all the crap your body doesnt need or want..like sugar and all the other good tasting stuff you ate over the course of the day. Since no one has physically tried to eat there own crap it might, just might, be a pleasure overload. Imagine eating all the good shit in the bowl destroying food that you freak internet junkies eat all day. We all know you would piss yourself in bliss and then try drinking it because it might taste so damn good. Well thats about all I have to say about eating your own shit, so fuck what I said earlier and eat away!

The Problems With Cloning

In cloning, many rules or human nature are broken. People should not worry whether or not cloning is immoral. The main questions that the public should be trying to answer are these. Would it be possible for a man to clone himself as a female counterpart? And if so would you be able to have sex with it? Some of you are wondering, who the hell would have sex with a clone? You know that you would. You yourself are the most attractive person to yourself! It would be the best sex you ever had, since you know your the best and you know EXACTLY what you want. So now that the issue of if you would or not is solved two more questions are brought to our attention. Would this be considered incest? She would be in your family. Would having sex with your clone be considered a form of masturbation? When i simulate sex with myself people call it masturbating. When i have sex with my self but in a whole other entity would it be masturbating myself in a strange way? I guess well never know...or will we. Further more, if you were to kill your own clone what would we call this? Would you even have to go to jail for killing your clone? Chances are the clone would kill you first since it probably knows, due to the fact that it once was you, of your plans to eliminate him. If you killed your clone would it be considered suicide? Since you are still alive but your clone is dead would it be attempted suicide? Is it possible that nothing would happen to you since millions of people each day kill alittle bit of themselves? Would it be attempted suicide? since you killed part of yourself but didnt kill the rest of you? Or would it be homicide due to the fact that it is a seperate but identical entitiy of you? These questions may never be answered but it can be safe to say that if i was able to clone myself in a girl form i WOULD be the first to violate it!